JULY
29 Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?
Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

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JULY
30 A funny thing to do is, if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you’re going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that you got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who’s going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That’s why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
Jack Handy

29deep-thoughts-by-jack-handy-5
JULY
31 A weapon which you don’t have in your hand won’t kill a snake.
African Proverb

29snake2
AUGUST
1 I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder.
Flynn Rider, Tangled

29flynnridersmolder
AUGUST
2 Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.
   Easy A

29Breakfast-Club
AUGUST
3-4 Richard Vernon: Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.
    The Breakfast Club
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