12 He’s much more Jewish than I am. Mostly because he was born that way. I’m sort of a Christmas and Easter Jew.
Gretchen Speck-Horowitz, Wonderfalls

12 wonderfalls
13 The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world.
Georgia Harkness
14 Olive Penderghast: Don’t you think it’s a little strange that your boyfriend is 22 years old and still in high school?
Marianne: Not that it’s any of your business, trollop, but he is here by choice.
Olive Penderghast: So it’s his choice that he’s a fourth year senior who can’t pass any test he takes?
Marianne: No, silly, His. His, with a capital “H”. If God wanted him to graduate than God would have given him the right answers.
Olive Penderghast: I’m sorry, but, you gotta be shittin’ me, woman.
Easy A

easy a book
15 Now that is one big pile of shit.
Ian Malcom, Jurassic Park (movie)

12 jurassic-park
16 You stay classy, San Diego.
Ron Burgundy, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

12 Ron-Burgundy
17-18 Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
Dave Barry